I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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