Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
