I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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