Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
