Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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