she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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