He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize