also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
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