I've blown a few things in my day
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
