your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
