mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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