Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
if only i could text you this smell
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
