Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
