Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize