it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
