Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
