so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
