omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I am one with the molecules
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
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