I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
