So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
high people should be assigned attendants
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
