Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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