we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
