nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize