just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
