I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
