how can u be prego again
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
