i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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