First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
