we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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