return my video game
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
