I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Its about making memories worth repressing
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You can't just leave with hair like that
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
If I die, sorry about rent.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
