im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
