Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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