I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
do herpes really smell.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
