I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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