My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
