what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
