"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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