i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
