he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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