doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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