More tranny stories later!
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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