we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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