I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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