I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
