and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
