When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
