every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
We got so high we made milksteak
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
