ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
