It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
