if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
