fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Who died my cat blue again?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
