I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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