If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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