I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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