One girl and one boy is just not enough.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
