Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Alive.
So much puke
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
