When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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