We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
