YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
