My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
