nutella sex= disaster
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
