apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
