brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
