Just mADE A PArabola og urine
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
