Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
