I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I just gargled with NyQuil
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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