yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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