she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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