i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
