Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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