Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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