Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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