well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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