mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
