Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
