Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
