have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
