hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
