yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize