fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
